Attention and where we (I) put it.

Attention and where we (I) put it.

I think like lots of people, I have spent most of my life paying no attention to where my attention is.

My mind wondering where it wished and if I thought of this at all, it seemed very much like the weather; nothing I could control, that sometimes pleased me (pleasant thoughts) and at others did not (you get the idea).

So my slow realisation that not only can I control where my attention is, but, that its probably the single most important lesson I never learnt, has been remarkable and a good 25 years overdue.

 

I started reading on and practicing Buddhist ideas from around 15 years old I should have worked this out a lot earlier, I’m sure the information was out there; I was probably just not able to hear it.

So why is this so important in my mind? Well its both simple and very profound. Where we put our attention makes it grow, swell, expand, change. A simple idea but so radical

I have come to realise that I have had a story about my early education and how it set me up for failing. As an un-diagnosed dyslexic in a small working class village school it was rough. But I’m still repeating the "I can't learn" story over and over. So when I sit down to study if I pay clear attention, I find I have the story in my mind and body, it pulses through me and, I feel blocks my learning really well.

I have paid so much attention to this story over the years that it has become the only one.

So now the job is to gently direct my attention away from these, feelings, thoughts, memories and towards the well buried store of positive, affirming stories, thoughts and memories related to learning. I’m sure that the process will take years to even get a basic grip of and the rest of my life, but I’m really excited about it. One of the exciting element is me working out where in my body I have been storing the thoughts, emotions and feelings. I’m booking a Shiatsu sessions to start the work now.

There are so many applications for the skilled use of attention; and I know that I’m one of the least qualified to talk about it. I can't recommend Gill's talks at audio dharma enough.

http://www.audiodharma.org/