Elections and choices

So we have another result to an election which has left large chunks of a population bewildered and a slightly larger chunk elated

We go through this round every 4 years or so and things get stirred up, passions aroused, and I suppose in a democracy that's how it should be 

Things got very stirred up with the UK referendum and with the recent American presidential election in very similar ways 

I'm not really in a position to go into the politics of it. But  I noticed a question come up in me that spiked my attention 

The question 'is politics from the people to the representatives' or is it 'from the representatives to the people'. 
Do we give the power to the leaders, is this what is happening during an election? Or are we electing, for convenience one person who can represent our views? Are we abdicating power (our power) to others, or are we asking someone to speak our views?

I think the difference can be quite subtle, but I feel its an important one. Its easy to 'believe in' others and expect them to sort things out, to make things better, (to make America Great Again). 

So every 4 years or so we pick one person, or one party, that's going to sort things out. And then we sit back and behave in exactly the same way, we have been doing for the last 4 years. We vote for change, as long as that change is done by others. 

So we can continue to think, speak and behave in the same way as we have always done, whilst expecting others to make the changes. My feeling is that, this is a great shame. 

We vote every 4 years; but we speak to people every day, we take actions every day. Every day we decide if we are going to make our conversations positive or negative, nurturing or toxic. We decide if we are going to thank the bus driver or not, if we are going to curse the other road user or remain calm, if we are going to spread gossip or support people. If we are going to speak well or ill of people.
Where we are going to spend our money, who we are going to bank with, who supplies our electricity, who we are going to get our groceries from, are we going to support charities, do we volunteer at the hospice/school/scout group/community centre...........  the list can go on and on 

We may not feel that we decide on these things, but we do, we just may not be conscious of it. Every one of these small actions can make a difference and we get to make them every day, over and over, not every 4 years 

I feel we have a duty to vote, but I feel that voting for others to make things better when we are not doing our active bit to make better what we can, results in a dependency on others. Where we place unrealistic expectations on our politicians that they can never live up to.

But this is not easy, to take on being as positive as we can be every day takes time, commitment and thought. I get it wrong more than I get it right. Its easier to give it away to others and say 'make things better for me'

But I feel we have to share the idea of a better future. And that however skillful, our current way of living we can make it more so. 

With persistence, reflection and  effort, we have the potential to be a cause of positive change, every day. 

‘So am I at ease right now!’

Sometimes after a good massage/Shiatsu one can feel quite euphoric. 
This state can feel alien or other worldly, it can seem like something has been added or changed. . But I would suggest that what we are experience in these moments is a (our) natural state; just free of pain, stress, worry etc. It’s the absence of something rather than an addition 

We can layer lots of levels of discomfort onto ourselves and do so most days. Life seems to have a way of doing it. Physical pain, discomfort, unease, little niggles, rubbing, chaffing, pinching, pulling. Emotional pain, discomfort, anger, pulling away, irritation, wanting, desire,  
Some of these are quite big and we might need help to deal with, but others we can tackle ourselves. It can be about making simple little choices; How we sit, what shoes we wear, which clothes we put on, where we put our attention, what bag we use, they are small things that can contribute either to a sense of unease or ease. The trick is to keep making the more skilful choices, over and over again. 

A trick to make this possible is to keep a bit for awareness in reserve for  our body as often as we can. So in any given situation we can ask, am I at ease now? If the answer is ‘I don’t know’, then you can ask a purely physical question. Is my body at ease now? 

If the answer is no, then do the thing that makes you at ease; shift your position, change the shoes, go for a different bag, take a break, walk away, pause the conversation, stand up on the bus, sit on the floor not the sofa, really listen to the other person, change your underwear, take a deep breath. Just do the little things that increase a feeling of ease.

Over time the results can be really radical, but start small and practice, regularly 

‘So am I at ease right now!’ 

Attention and where we put it.

We often have a tendency to not be aware of where we place our attention. It goes to the area with the most stimulus, the one that's drawing our attention most strongly at the time. Sometimes this is a good thing that needs to happen (responding to that fire alarm) sometimes, not so good.

In fact many people do not realise that they can decide, or at least influence, where they place their attention. 

Developing an awareness that we can choose to place our attention on given objects is a powerful thing. It allows us to direct our thoughts and perceptions in a way that we choose rather than where stimulus takes us. 

It can be easier to focus our attention if we are very interested in the subject, a craft we love, a piece of art work we really admire, a great book, someone we are in love with. Are all relatively easy things to be attentive to. 

I always remember focusing on my father slurping his cereal in the morning. I can become obsessed with people's leaking earphones on the train. I can focus on the negative comments or feedback I get rather than the positive.

In this way we can focus on what is in reality often a small amount of information, and by doing so ignore the majority of the available information. In the process often reinforcing less skilful or negative ways of viewing our daily world. This can result in a feeling of the world being more negative than it actually is, a real shame. This can have a result of increasing our level of stress and anxiety. 

Until we learn to direct our attention; where it goes, is where it's gone before, in effect old habits.

So how do we start to be aware of and move where we place our attention. 

Well I would suggest starting with the body.

An awareness of how our body feels, how our posture is; are we holding tension? Is a practical way of remembering to check in with where our attention is. I have noticed that if I become aware of slumping, I can then see that I have lost mental awareness. If I correct my spine then my awareness increases without having to 'make it'. If I notice that I have a tight jaw, I also notice that I'm often having negative thoughts. 

We can play with attention exercises. Say for the day we will; notice every time we see the colour blue, notice every time we have a judgmental thought, notice ever time we are offered service. 

If you have a mind that's been allowed to wonder where it wants for years, maybe decades, then it takes time and practice to 'behave' and go where you want it to. However the results of working on this can be interesting, and in some cases life changing. 

If you are interested in taking this deeper, I would recommend the courses held by the Todo institute. http://www.todoinstitute.org/

The books of David K Reynolds are also good places to start 

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Playing-running-water-David-Reynolds/dp/0859694836 

Grasping with the eyes

Grasping with the eyes

I believe that it was a shared idea in many different cultures that the process of seeing was one of grasping. That the eyes would reach out and grasp what they were seeing. 

Of course this is not the modern way of thinking;  we now have the idea that the eyes are simple receptors and take in whatever they see in a neutral way. That light travels from the world and hits the back of the eyes. 

The idea that the eyes reach out and grasp seems odd, old fashioned, when coming across the idea its easy to think of those simple pre-science folks, did they know nothing?

On the bus the other day I became aware of my eyes grasping, I was actively looking, reaching out, searching. It felt exactly like my eyes were indeed grasping. 

So is what previous thinkers were reflecting on, the feeling of the process of seeing, did they really not understand or did they see the bigger picture? 

I realised that I was compulsively seeking out things to see, I suppose I was looking for stimulus. It was an urgent and compulsive feeling. There seemed to be a strong desire for stimulus but also a feeling of not wanting to miss out. 

I realised that it was taking quite a lot of energy to do all this grasping. It was also making my mind quite agitated 

So I thought I’d stop, after all I’d become aware of the feeling/action/behaviour and normally when I become aware of a mental process I can change it quite well (if only for a short time)

And I found it really difficult. I tried lowering my eyes, I tried not lowering my eyes but not grasping, I tried softening my eyes and just allowing what came to come. It was really difficult. 

So no conclusion, I just thought I would share and let you into what goes through my mind on the bus sometimes 

Relax, NO RELAX!

It’s a word I don’t use with clients as it tends to generate tension

I prefer the idea of letting go, as holding is something we do a lot of

I have just returned from a 9 day meditation retreat; held in silence with no stimulus what so ever, I had lots of opportunity to let go. And it’s not easy. I found that I hold onto many things; ideas of who I am, ideas of what my body is, opinions, thoughts, the breath, muscle tension, memories oh just lots and lots and lots

Letting go is something that I aim for my clients to do, when I first treat them it’s often a good indication for me of how the session and the relationship is going. As we gain experience together letting go or the lack of it is a great diagnostic tool

I want clients to let go within the session because it’s so good for them on lots of levels, but my main reason is so they can experience the letting go and take it into their ever day life.

So much suffering is caused by holding onto things we do not need to. We then suffer what Jack Kornfield calls ‘mental rope burn’, a lovely way of describing the suffering  that comes from holding or clinging.

If we can take the feeling of letting go that we have on the futon and practice it when we are angry for being cut up in our car, when we are bored at work, when in an argument with our children/relative/friend, then we can change the situation in a really radical way.

It seems that letting go is a transferable skill, if we can let go of muscle tension then it feels very similar to letting go of our fixed opinion of ourselves and other. You have to see the holding but once we do the letting go feels very similar.

Like most transformative things it’s a simple process that needs applying over and over and it’s the application which is difficult. 

Attention and where we (I) put it.

Attention and where we (I) put it.

I think like lots of people, I have spent most of my life paying no attention to where my attention is.

My mind wondering where it wished and if I thought of this at all, it seemed very much like the weather; nothing I could control, that sometimes pleased me (pleasant thoughts) and at others did not (you get the idea).

So my slow realisation that not only can I control where my attention is, but, that its probably the single most important lesson I never learnt, has been remarkable and a good 25 years overdue.

 

I started reading on and practicing Buddhist ideas from around 15 years old I should have worked this out a lot earlier, I’m sure the information was out there; I was probably just not able to hear it.

So why is this so important in my mind? Well its both simple and very profound. Where we put our attention makes it grow, swell, expand, change. A simple idea but so radical

I have come to realise that I have had a story about my early education and how it set me up for failing. As an un-diagnosed dyslexic in a small working class village school it was rough. But I’m still repeating the "I can't learn" story over and over. So when I sit down to study if I pay clear attention, I find I have the story in my mind and body, it pulses through me and, I feel blocks my learning really well.

I have paid so much attention to this story over the years that it has become the only one.

So now the job is to gently direct my attention away from these, feelings, thoughts, memories and towards the well buried store of positive, affirming stories, thoughts and memories related to learning. I’m sure that the process will take years to even get a basic grip of and the rest of my life, but I’m really excited about it. One of the exciting element is me working out where in my body I have been storing the thoughts, emotions and feelings. I’m booking a Shiatsu sessions to start the work now.

There are so many applications for the skilled use of attention; and I know that I’m one of the least qualified to talk about it. I can't recommend Gill's talks at audio dharma enough.

http://www.audiodharma.org/